Esoteric Rants from 615 Ford St

Packing

2006-09-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

The last two hours seem to be a blur. It took a painful 23 minutes to get all the information I needed about being laid off. I’m going to receive 5 week paid severance for 5 years of service and I have 2.5 weeks of vacation time. That mean I have almost 2 months before I can go on unemployment. The Cobra was too much so I will have to find new health insurance. Besides that I didn’t really care about all the other information. May regret not paying attention later on.

Packing up my cube took longer than I expected. I need to get boxes to take everything home. Never realized how much personal crap I had in that 6x6 space. The amusing part is that they had to inspect all the boxes before I left. I was still able to sneak out my red Swingline stapler. Ever since Office Space came out, everyone has been trying to get that staple from me. I would mount it on the dash board of my car if I didn’t think people would break in to take it..

Having to say goodbye to people, exchange email and such was a pain in the ass also. I don’t know if I will get in contact with any of them ever again. They all offered to help me find a new job but right now I’m not sure if I want another cube job. I will take the next two months at least to explore other options.

With everything in my car, I looked at my cell phone to see what time it was. I find it amusing that wrist watches have now become a fashion statement. The reason for this most people have cell phones now. Using the cell phone as a time piece is one of the reasons I justified in getting a cell phone in the first place. I also really hate wearing jewelry and I have always considered a watch to be jewelry. I have don’t wear rings, earrings – which is another interesting topic that a lot of males now have both ears pierced- or necklaces. Wearing any type of jewelry always seemed like a hazard to me.

Oh where was I, oh yeah it is only 10 O’clock. Wow, I have the whole day to go still. Think I will take some time to enjoy myself before telling anyone that I got laid off today. It seems so many people think it is a negative experience and I have a hard time with pity from friends or strangers. I also feel that most negative experiences are also positive. For me, that job was slowly killing me and I could never get up the motivation to find a new job or quit that one. I’m actually really happy that I was let go. Now I think it is time to go for a walk by the river. Or is it a creek.

The walk

2006-07-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

Mike was outside my cube. He didn’t have the happiest face on today. Normally he is a pretty cheerful guy but immediately I could tell something is wrong.

“Hey Mike, what is up?”

“Donovan, can you come with me. Jim needs to talk with you.”

“Ah, that is why you look so glum. You get to be the angel of death today. Its ok. At least for me. What would probably make it easier for you is if you were doing this in high heels. I mean if you were in high heels then you wouldn’t be thinking about what is about to happen to me.”

Mike gives me a half hearted smile at this comment. So I try to continue, as I know in a couple minutes I will be handed a packet of paper that tells me what I get, a final check and a handshake. Mike makes a comment first though

“Don’t think I could walk very well in heels.”

“Of course not Mike, that would make it even more enjoyable for me. Isn’t it your job to entertain me on this walk of death. Well I can help you. I will leave you the giant hour glass that I got when Stacey left. Except you know the rules. You have to give it away when you leave here. I’m going to extend the restriction that you have to give it to someone who works in a dysfunctional company, is not related to you and have to follow the same rules.”

Side note - One of my favorite things to do was collect things when people leave. I had no plans of taking any of it because most of it was junk in my mind or stuff to have around work to play with. The hour glass was one of the special things though. Everyone wanted it but it was left to me by Stacey two years ago. The agreement was that I leave it to someone who had to stay here. Packing up my cube was going to be a pain. I think I will limit myself to 2 paper boxes of stuff and my backpack.

“Thanks, Donovan. I’m so glad you wish to past on the curse of the hour glass to me.”

“It’s my pleasure to give the angel of death some time. Well looks like we are here. Do you get to come in?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Mike said this with what seemed like a lot of weight on his shoulders. So before we enter I turned to him. Looked him in the eye and stuck my tongue out and before he could respond I entered the room.

Phone rings

2006-06-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

So sitting at my desk I had little motivation to perform any work. I looked at all the crap that had accumulated in my cube over the years and realized what a mess my cube was. Figured if I wasn’t let go today I had to at least pick up the Spanish peanut that was next to the filing cabinet in my office. I wonder if the cleaning staff ever vacuumed my cube. Seems they do less and less around here. I have to make sure I don’t throw out any food that rots quickly because the trash is picked up on random days. I’m sure there is some rhyme or reason to it but I haven’t figured it out yet.

The positive note if I was let go I figured I could be out of here in ten minutes. I would let someone else take the twenty or so trips to recycle all the stacks of paper at my desk. I have been seeing how high I could get my recycling paper trash can filled. Right now it has grown into a reverse pyramid that is about 2 feet above the lip of the recycling can. Looked at the clock again, it was only 7:45. Time was going so slow.

Some one just turned on the lights. That means activity will start picking up. As soon as I figure I should start doing some work my phone rings. Caller Id says it is my older sister. Wonder what she is doing calling me. I hope there isn’t something going on at home.

Hey sis what’s going on?

Not much Donovan, I was just wondering how Nathan got my phone number. He called me up asking if I could do some work for him.

Sorry, I told him that you were busy with some other contracts but he seems to be selective on the people he wants working for him. He probably just looked your phone number up on the net. So, what did you say?

Well, he offered me a crap load of money to work on a web page. I just don’t know if I want to be associate with him. He seems to be a bit demented.

Well I have told you he is. I still wonder what convinced me to ever let him move in. Do you believe he had a request for a paging system this morning. I don’t really have a response to that request besides “what are you crazy”. So are you going to work for him?

I think so. It is a lot of money for a really simple project and I need the money right now. How is work going for you.

Not sure. Will see how the day goes. There may be layoffs today. Any big plans for the weekend?

Well I was thinking of going out and visiting Nana and do some kite surfing on the lake but besides that not much right now. You?

Not sure. Hey, Alane I have to go now there is someone waiting outside my cube. Talk to you later.

Bye

Donovan 1.3

2006-05-15T08:15:00.000-07:00

At least the drive to work was not stressful. It was the same 20 minute drive that it has been for the last year. My office is located on the second floor in a cube maze. I’m located relatively close to some windows and sometime wonder if it is an advantage or not. Windows let you know what is going on in the world and how nice the weather is outside. When it is raining, I enjoy having windows but it rarely rains. Most of the time it is sunny outside and starting around mid-April til September, the sun shines in and completely washes out my computer screen for a couple hours. It means I either sit at my computer with sunglasses on or go wander around and talk to people until the sun moves. This morning I decided to take a third option and take my breakfast and eat in the lunch room.

In my cube I have a filing cabinet drawer full of food. I examined my options for breakfast. Seems mostly what I have left is can soup and oatmeal. Seems like it is going to be another oatmeal morning. I don’t mind oatmeal but when it is already 80 degrees out when I get to work, it is kinda hard to get excited about eating warm oatmeal for breakfast

Now there can be some disadvantages about eating in the lunchroom as compared to eating at your desk. When you eat at your desk people are more apt to feel sorry about interrupting you. In the lunchroom in the morning, they feel it is an open invitation to talk to you about work. I don’t know if it is because they are in there getting coffee and getting their motivation up for working for the day or if they are just procrastinating because they don’t want to go back to their desk. In retrospect I’m glad that I ate breakfast in the lunchroom because it allowed Stan to interrupt me and learn that something was happening today.

Stan is one of those employees that always think something is wrong and trying to get information all the time. Whenever you talk to him you end up wondering how this company is surviving. It seems that he has noticed the CEO walking around a lot this morning. He was looking into peoples cubes to see who was is around. This seems to happen whenever there is going to be a layoff. Business has been slow lately and it seems that whenever business slows a little they lay employees off. I never understood why they didn’t hire temps for the influx of projects. So Stan was certain that there were going to be layoffs today. If they follow standard mode of operation they will tell people around 8:30. So after I finished eating I had an hour to wait and see if I get called in to be let go or three hours to be told who was being let go today. Today I couldn’t tell you if I wanted to stay or go. Luckily the decision was not in my hands.

Donovan 1.2

2006-03-08T20:07:00.000-08:00

Why did I sit outside the house for an hour today you ask? Well I could give you the short easy answer - It was a long day and I just could just not muster the strength to get out of the car once I pulled in the driveway.

Or I could say that I was think about how I do not want to deal with any of my roommates but that would be a lie. I like my roommates. They have always brought entertainment to my life and even if one is certifiably nuts and the other two are plain strange. I never stress about dealing with my roommates.

Or I could also tell you that is was my SMOO - figure that acronym out will you. But no, I think I will give you a little more complete version of why I didn't get out of the car.

My day started out like most other days. The alarm went of in the bedrooms upstairs with Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi playing on it. I rather enjoy not having to set my own alarm to get up in the morning. I sometime have problems with the CD my roommate puts in their alarm clock. But I have been enjoying this rotation of Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi playing. It makes it really hard to stay in bed. Very motivational music. The problem is, it just makes you want to strap on your suit of armor and go raiding.

Upon hearing the music, I quickly jumped out of bed and hop into the shower. I knew I had exactly 4 minutes and 21 seconds before anyone else started taking their shower. At that point the water pressure drops in my bathroom and it takes a painfully long time before I can get all the soapy suds off. In the middle of my shower, Theodor jumps on top of my shower door and starts meowing for food. I tell him to wait a couple minutes. Like clockwork, the water pressure drops. Turned the shower off and as I leave the shower, Theodor takes his customary swing at me.

As I leave my room to feed Theodor and take off for work, I notice a new inbox next to my door and some paper in it. I grab the papers and I’m driving to work right after feeding Theo. Damn papers made me forget to grab breakfast. Luckily, I have stand-by food at work.

Donovan 1

2006-03-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

Nathan had another request this morning. The request came as a purchase request taped to my bedroom door. He wants to buy a paging system for the house and deduct it from the rent. Where does he get these ideas. Who ever heard of a house with a paging system. Sure intercoms but a paging system. It is not like the house is that big. There are a total of four of us living in a ranch style house. You can yell in any room and hear it everywhere in the house. I know he is going to argue that there is a work shop in the backyard and that he may want to page people back there. Well I have to talk to him when I get home from work tonight.